Wednesday, June 25, 2008

The Anti-Climactic Lunch

We've all been there... Waking up with an insatiable hunger, a hunger so consuming that the normal breakfast won't suffice. There's no time for something elaborate like an omelet, or breakfast potatoes or some other fatty and starchy plate full of comfort food. So we settle for a bowl of... oh, I don't know Cocoa Krispies with soy milk? Normally this is plenty to get from 9 – Lunchtime. But then there are those days, those days where we spend all morning with our stomach grumbling mid-meeting, you know at that exact time when everyone decides to shut their traps... thats when the awkward grumble comes out. "Sorry, that was my stomach... I'm staaarrrrving!"

Finally, lunch time rolls around. 12:01 and people are contemplating "Where should we go? What should we eat? Who wants this, who wants that?" If you people don't make up your mind, I am going to tear the limbs from your body and start gnawing on them.

Now comes the big decision. "What do I order," you ask yourself, "what is going to hold me over? Better yet WHAT is going to justify the suffering of being hungry ALL MORNING?"

That's when it happens, in a blind fury you select that menu item that has tantalized you for months... going away from your standards, the menu items you know will fill you up and leave you satisfied. For some insane reason you select that panini, at bottom of the list, the one that has all the ingredients to be a home run. You trust your decision, you think to yourself, "this is gonna be great."

Then you get back to the office, unwrap that panini... only to see it sitting there in the middle of the wax paper like some sort of enigma. "Why is this the smallest sandwich I have ever seen in my life?" Trying to stay positive, you pick up the tiny little wedge of sandwich—almost hordouvers-like in size—and bite into it, assuming small sandwich must mean better ingredients. If its not quantity, it must be quality... right?

Wrong.

Shit.

This is a nightmare. You've waited all day for lunch and now you are stuck with this tiny, tasteless, generic excuse for a sandwich... all you can think about is how hungry you will be once its gone. "Where will I be getting my 3 PM snack from... because this isn't going to cut it!"

Yes, this is the emotional roller coaster I like to refer to as an anti-climactic lunch. I'd like to thank the Sleeper Street Deli for inspiring this entry, specifically the Tuscan Panini. Blech.

1 comment:

Deanna said...

...perhaps you need a cookie to cheer you up?

http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j317/mccloud24/CHOCOLATE_CHIP_COOKIE.jpg